The Procoal American Psycho Patrick Bateman Skincare Routine

american psycho beauty regime

I don’t know about you, but this still rings through my head as one of the most iconic scenes from any movie I’ve ever seen. However, after seeing Patrick Bateman’s obsessive routine, it did make me think about my morning skincare routine and whether I should be taking some notes from the movie.

We therefore decided to break down the Patrick Bateman skin care quotes and turned it into our very own Procoal American Pscho skin care routine. Have a read through and give it a try yourself.


“In the morning if my face is a little puffy, I’ll put on an ice pack while doing stomach crunches. I can do 1,000 now.”

If you suffer from morning ‘puffiness’ then this could be a hidden gem. Alternatively, you can simply apply ice cubes to your face to help increase blood circulation and to help increase radiance in the skin.

Regular application of ice cubes to the face in the morning (potentially mixed in with cucumber juice) can help to reduce those pesky dark circles as well.

If you decide to buy a face ice pack, some great options include the Boots Instant Pack or the accurate manufacturing facial ice pack.


“After I remove the ice pack I use a deep pore cleanser lotion.”

This one is a little odd, as Bateman is applying the lotion before getting into the shower, which will surely be washed off instantly. This is the same rule for any toner or lotion, therefore we’re not sure if he’s done it the right way, but if you want to follow meticulously (rather than applying after the shower) then you might want to try the Avene extremely gentle cleanser lotion.


“In the shower I use a water activated gel cleanser, then a honey almond body scrub, and on the face an exfoliating gel scrub.”

Type in ‘water activated gel cleanser’ on Google and you will see the results are predominantly quotes from the movie, or guides breaking down his skincare regime (much like this post). These water gel concentrates tend to help in boosting skin hydration, as well as helping the skin to feel smoother. Some options available to you include the Neutrogena Hydro Boost, or for males a popular option is Clinique’s formula.

Afterwards he uses the honey almond body scrub which has a number of benefits. The honey is antibacterial and is full of antioxidants, which can fight off free radicals. It can also help to open up the pores and unclog them. Almonds are also known for their powerful levels of antioxidants. One of the most popular options include the Body Shop exfoliating cream.

The Body Shop can also help with your next step, offering a British Rose exfoliating gel body scrub, which will also help to open up the pores and clean the base layer of excess oil.


“Then I apply a herb mint facial mask, which I leave on for 10 minutes while I prepare the rest of my routine.”

10 minutes is about right for most face masks to take effect, always follow the instructions, but remember that keeping it on for longer doesn’t equal better results, as it can dry out the skin. At this point, I’d directly recommend using our activated charcoal face mask, as it is unbelievable at removing impurities from the skin, excess oil and transform your skin to a more radiant complexion.

After the shower your skin should be clear and the pores should be open, so the face mask can take effect highly efficiently.


“I always use an after shave lotion with little or no alcohol, because alcohol dries your face out and makes you look older.”

While aftershaves used to predominantly include alcohol, the trend has moved away from these, as ‘alcohol dries out the face’, thank you Bateman for your input!

The alcohol certainly does dry out the skin and it can also be an irritant. The original reason for including alcohol was to highlight its ability at killing off any bacteria on the skin, however you can certainly ditch these high-alcohol formulas in modern times. You could try the White Lotus or the Saldalwood lotion.


“Then moisturiser, then an anti aging eye balm, followed by a final moisturising protective lotion.”

Nearing the end of your regime, it is time to hydrate the skin. You don’t necessarily need to use two lotions, you can add the protective layer by ensuring your moisturiser containing a high level of SPF to protect your skin against the harmful sun rays (obviously you can include an SPF moisturiser separately to your main moisturiser if you want to stick to the routine to a T).

Picking the right moisturiser should be the easiest element of this regime, but with so many different options available and matching to all different skin types, it can be daunting knowing where to start. If you suffer from oily skin then you might want a light lotion, whereas if dry skin is your issue then you want a more thick option. If you are doing this in the morning then you may not want a very thick formula as this can appear oily on the skin when you leave the house.

Go for a minimum of SPF 30 (as previously mentioned), while the ingredients should offer plenty of antioxidants, such as green tea or liquorice root extract. You should look into whether it has any AHA or BHA as well, for anti-ageing purposes.

Eye balms are actually very hotly debated in the skincare industry, as to the definitive value, however many believe they can offer a further benefit to anti-aging over simply using a moisturiser. The thin layer of skin below the eyes only gets thinner over time as our natural collagen production lowers. This is why the eyes tend to give away our age. Balms tend to work better than creams as they have a lower water content.

If you have the budget, you could try the Estee Lauder Revitalising Supreme+ or the L’Occitane Immortelle Divine, however there are lower cost options out there as well.


Time Requirements

We gave this all a go and it wasn’t exactly the quickest routine. It took just over an hour to complete the whole process, however I’m sure this could be sped up over time if repeating regularly. Obviously, I didn’t quite manage the 1,000 crunches, but that doesn’t fit under ‘skincare’ therefore I decided to slightly ignore this one.

Don't miss out on more skincare tips and expert advice over on our YouTube channel! Come and find us on The Green Sofa by hitting the subscribe button, you won't regret it! 


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