We want to explore and share all the considerations, the do’s and don’ts and what will happen when you date someone younger, both positive and negative. If you’re considering someone that much younger then these might be things to look out for and work out if you are ok with beforehand.
1) People Will Talk
Whether in a positive way, being impressed by your ability to pull someone so much younger, or in a negative manner behind your back, you will have people talking about the subject. It can be creepy, it can be insulting, it can be just about anything, the point is you have to work out whether you can handle this scrutiny and how you want to go about dealing with it. Remember this, you don’t have to defend yourself. If they see you as a friend then they should respect your wishes, providing you both truly like each other.
2) You Will Be Made To Feel Old At Times
We’re not talking all the time. But if you’re in your thirties and you start to reminisce about Sharkie & George or pogs or My Baby All Gone or dial up internet, just expect a generation Z to look at you like an old artefact in a museum. You might not have the energy to keep up with everything they want to do, but just be prepared.
3) Different Stage Of Life
Maybe they are ready for kids, maybe you couldn’t think of anything worse, who knows, but generally people tend to follow a closely matched pattern based on their age and it is possible they will be at a different stage in their life and you should discuss this before jumping in. They might not want kids for another ten years and if you see this as a necessity in the near future then this could be a breaking point.
4) Partying Is Very Different
I couldn’t think of anything worse than clubbing nowadays. Constant dancing from 10-3am, sticky floors, overpriced drinks, loud rubbish music and not being able to hear anyone, sleazy people, it just sounds like a nightmare, but turn it back 5-10 years ago and it was my favourite thing in the world. Nowadays I love some pub grub on a Sunday, a couple of pints and a chat with close friends. Be prepared for a different vision of how to celebrate a party, or simply a Friday night.
5) Social Media Confusion
One of the biggest changes nowadays is the rapid advancement in technology and app choices available, as you constantly feel out of date with what’s ‘cool’. I grew up with the likes of Bebo and Myspace, before Facebook became the numero uno. My parents couldn’t understand Facebook and we all thought they were old fuddy duddies. Well nowadays there is Tik Tok and 21 Buttons and I’m trying to get my head around it. If they are significantly younger, just expect to be socialising on different apps and be prepared to download some new items onto your phone. Welcome to augmented reality and vloggers as young as 12 becoming MUA’s!
6) Musical Taste
It’s hard enough finding someone with a similar music taste, but finding someone who has the same taste with a massive age gap is nearing impossible. However it is important to remember, who really cares?! So you like classic rock and they like hip hop, oh well. Try to find music groups you can both enjoy or use it as a learning curve and take an interest in their music. You can then start to show them your musical tastes and slowly merge the two.
7) Diff Sex Drive, Maybe, But Not All Sex
Part of the appeal for many who go for someone younger is being able to have sex all the time. They could have come from a relationship which hadn’t been physical in a long time or they could just feel younger by having more regular sex with someone who is still learning the way, but it is important to not make it all about sex. Focus on the character and the persons interests, as that wild sex will inevitably die down. Make sure to keep them engaged with you.
8) Don’t Put Pressure
Whether it’s giving them a hard time for going out on the town or pushing for them to settle down and get married, just remember you decided to date someone younger, so don’t demand they make such sacrifices for you. If they are in a similar stage or feel ready for these things then it is fine, but you can’t expect them to base their whole life around your interests and stage of life.
9) Be Mature
A big reason why many people date someone older is because they don’t like a young mindset, they want someone who has their head clearly on and are focused. They don’t want someone immature who is still doing the things they did 10 years ago, otherwise they’d date someone their own age. I’m not saying change who you are, just be aware of the way you are acting, don’t be a child.
10) Don’t Keep Bringing Up The Age Gap
If they have come to terms with dating someone much older, the last thing you should be doing is keep going on about the age gap, as if you have an issue with it. This will make them question the relationship and whether it will last the test of time. Despite the fact you are probably doing this as a fear of rejection or worrying about what they think, you are probably inadvertently damaging the relationship and putting unnecessary pressure on yourself. Age is just a number, move on.